In my past life, when I was (and I use this term loosely) a head hunter, we used to over use the term “many hats.” The “position will require that the candidate wear many hats” was used on almost every client call, job description and candidate interview that I worked on. By this, it is implied that the person “will report to Accounting, Legal, Marketing, Customer Service and Janitorial.” And while it is generally understood that all of “Corporate America” must indeed be multi-talented monkeys, let me enlighten you to just some of “the hats” of mommy hood.
So far today I have been a:
*Stylish Mom and Put Together Lady of the House. Why yes, my shower demand was granted at 6:15am! I even put on a dress because it required almost no thought. Major Score.
*Short Order Chef. Whipped up a not so healthy diet of frozen waffles and apples by 6:45am. (Is that all the butler could remember to get at the grocery store?)
*Gourmet Caterer. Prepared two well-balanced and tasty lunches. Packaged to perfection.Started and completed sometime between 9pm last night and 7:45am.
*Laundress. Washed one set of sheets and two loads of children’s clothing. The maid must have forgotten to run the dryer and iron the sheets. Will have to do something about her or uhmmm, me. Time frame same as above.
*Chaufer. Drove two kids to two different locations and a husband to a Gastroenterologist by 8:30am. Was only late once.
*Assistant Art Teacher in elementary school classroom. Sadie’s teacher is a saint, those children are crazy. No wonder they get a break during specials. Reported to duty from 11:20am to 12:20pm.
*Delivery Food Driver. Brought food to husband on the couch. Almost missed my window. Delivered by 12:40pm.
*Pre-School Heroine. Ok not really, but I did get to the Weekday School on time to pick up Cooper. 1pm arrival.
*Strict Dictator of Nap-Time. Not quite. . . left Cooper asleep on the couch with Daddy while I changed hats or umm, clothes. Transfered to crib after the fact. Down by 1:20pm
* House Keeper Extraordinaire. Vacuumed, windexed and furniture polished entire downstairs. Ran a load of dishes from last night. Darn, I thought I started that thing. Task Completed by 1:50pm.
*Nurse Taylor. Gave husband cough drops, yelled at him to sort through a HUGE MOUND of Sports Illustrated. Sent him into his clean bedroom to sleep. I have room for improvement under this job description. Charted at 1:55pm.
*Nail Technician. One coat of gold nail polish over old manicure, almost good as new. 1:57pm.
*Administrative Assistant. Coordinated sale of Citipass books, Sadie’s tennis lessons, Stella and Dot jewelry party, weekend house painting and closet installation. Still racking my brain as I am sure I am forgetting the reason I sat down at the computer. Oh yeah. . . .
*Writer, Blogger, Stylist and Creative Living Master. Insert hysterical laughing here, I am not even close. 2:45pm
Thank God the bus doesn’t come for 30 more minutes and my husband and baby are still napping.
All in a 1/2 day’s work girls and yet I know I am not even close to winning first prize.