My Summertime Twitch

It’s HOT here in Charlotte, NC. . .really, really HOT! The weatherman said something about 105 degrees this morning and I  had to tune him out. I mean, really 105 degrees? He had better not be messing with me.  Our kids are hot, our dog is hot, I am HOT. . . We let our pet butterfly’s go yesterday and I am truly concerned for their safety. It’s like Africa out there.

So here we are, the excitement of the pool opening is over. The long-awaited beach trip is complete. All but one of the summer camps I spent all winter planning and saving for, finito. How can it still be July? I think we have five more weeks before school starts, but I can not bare to look at the calendar to confirm. What if it is longer?

At some point last August I developed a twitch in my right eye. It was a day like today, and everyone was very HOT and very BORED. Having just tasked the resident munchkins with cleaning up a small spill of  styrofoam packing nuggets on the side landing, I escaped upstairs to do some cleaning in Sadie’s room. The windows in our house may offer some shelter from the rain, but they only seem to amplify noise. I can hear every word and they can hear me. . .I was 12 feet from their little heads.  As I am cleaning I tune in to  their childish conversation. . .something, something. . . “throw them”. . .something, something. . . “smash them!”  Like a scene from a parenting “what not to do” movie, I screamed bloody murder and hauled my butt downstairs as if I had been struck by lightning.

At the bottom of the stairs I found them, my very own two (now) hooligans, standing in a mound of  thousands and  thousands of crushed, environmentally hazardous styrofoam nuggets. Just then, standing in the doorway, unable to even speak, I watched as nothing short of a hurricane force wind, came from out of nowhere. A man-made blizzard in July erupted and sent ,what appeared to be snow,  twirling and dancing into the neighbors grass,  down the driveway, gracefully over the speed hump and down Ideal Way.

I cried. I screamed. I sent them immediately to their rooms. Five minutes later I developed the twitch. The darn thing didn’t go away until after Sadie’s first day of Kindergarten.

Right now they are in the playroom and I am ignoring the constant bickering. They have been at each other’s throats all afternoon. I am holding “over their heads” this afternoon’s Splash Park playdate like it is a trip to Disney World. My left eye is feeling tired from typing, but my right eye, might be. . .couldnt be. . .twitching??  Comedic timing dont you think?




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